These Are My Confessions

We are now nearing the end of Lent, and I’ve heard that there’s an initiative in the Boston Archdiocese to encourage people to go to confession. I’ve written before here about my religious habits, but I haven’t been to confession since my confirmation retreat when I was fifteen. I was sharing a room with a girl I went to school with, and I confessed that I’d snuck a look at her retreat notebook while she was in the bathroom.

So while I might not be headed for ten Our Fathers or whatever they give you for penance nowadays, but there are plenty of things about myself that I’m not proud of. So I thought I’d take the opportunity to tell you guys some of the more unfortunate facts about me.

Without further ado, here’s what I have to confess to my readers:

-When I was a teenager, my sister and I both went to the optometrist. I was sitting near this table and had my hand under it, and I felt a button. When I pushed it, it made a noise like a doorbell. The optometrist apparently didn’t know the bell was there, because she was all confused and tried to figure out where it was coming from. I pressed it one more time to make sure, and it sounded again. I was too embarrassed to say that it had been me, and my sister didn’t even believe me when I told her.

-My first-ever concert was Backstreet Boys.

-It takes me over an hour to get out of bed on a normal day, regardless of how much sleep I get. My bed is just so soft and comfy that I don’t want to get out, so I can never get anything done before work.

-I don’t do laundry until I run out of underwear, and underwear and socks are about the only thing I wash. As long as my clothes don’t smell and don’t have any big stains on them, I just put them away.

-Although, I only own about three sports bras, so I very often take a sports bra out of the hamper, put it on, and hope that I run fast enough that people walking by me don’t have to smell me.

-While I love the Red Sox, I can’t claim to be a lifelong fan. I’m a lousy athlete and a bit of a girly-girl, so when I was a kid I was all, “Ew, I hate sports.” By high school I’d changed my mind, and I’ve been a die-hard Sox fan for the last ten years or so.

-I still have the keys from my summer job in 2001. Oops.

-At said summer job (lifeguard at a condo complex), I once accidentally left those keys, and all my other stuff, in the pool building and locked myself out in the pouring rain. I managed to climb over the fence and get myself back in through an unlocked door, but not before getting soaked by the rain. I don’t want to think about how many people in the condos must have seen this all happen.

-I watch Toddlers and Tiaras. It’s a horrifying, ridiculous show, but I just can’t look away! I’m too embarrassed to put it on my DVR, but I watched almost every episode of the most recent season. This one little girl, Makenzie, cracks me up. Sometimes I’ll randomly start laughing thinking of her saying, “I think waitresses are really cool…they bring food.” (That’s at about 11:47 of this video, but watch the whole thing!)

-At chorus a couple of weeks ago, while having a conversation about Disney princesses, I told this girl how Hans Christian Andersen’s version of “The Little Mermaid” ends. (Don’t look it up if you don’t know and don’t want to be disappointed.) Uh, that was a mistake- I think I ruined her day.

-When I went to see Wicked last fall, my friend Amy and I walked over a sidewalk vent on our way there. Um, bad idea when you’re on a major street and wearing dresses.

-If you have ever been a competitive swimmer, at some point you have peed in a pool.

-I was a competitive swimmer as a kid. Make of that what you will.

2 thoughts on “These Are My Confessions

  1. Anonymous

    Matching you, catholic guilt style:

    I love your eye dr story. I would totally do something like this!

    My first ever concert was bare naked ladies. I was so over-excited about it that I threw a (16 yr old!!!) temper-tantrum before it all went off.

    It always takes me over an hour too! God, so glad I'm not the only one! It's even worse, now that I'm in grad school and I have a lot of days where I don't have to *be* anywhere by a certain time.

    I once had a roommate that resorted to wearing bathing suit bottoms for underwear. I have the exact same laundry policy as you.

    I did not care about the Red Sox until I was a freshman in college (yr before they won the world series) and I only care about playoff baseball. Without any stakes, I find the whole thing kind of boring.

    Oh, god, if I tried to recount embarrassing work moments I'd be here for a looooong time.

    I watch (and love!) Biggest Loser, Sister Wives, and Say Yes to the Dress. Terrible, embarrassing TV for the win.

    If you don't know how the real Little Mermaid story ends, you should be ashamed. Have you been living under a rock?

    I am not a competitive swimmer. I have peed in a pool. More than once.


  2. Kayleigh

    I have peed in a pool more than once as well. When you gotta go, you gotta go. And whats the point of doing laundry all the time if your clothes are clean enough. There is no point in wasting all that energy to wash clothes that aren't even really dirty to begin with. You can wear clothes more than once before you wash them.


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